Nostalgia

In these silent nights, 

Your absence feels a wound,

Pains, strains, punishes me,

Reminds of a love that's mourned. 

Your vibes, a constant reminder,

To the love that I had around,

But had, and I miss that now,

Your sight, Your smell, Your sound. 

Those moments of compassion,

Those that ended oh so soon,

I yearn for all that passion,

Loving you to the moon. 

Your care healed my heart,

And advise touched my mind,

Your passion brought to me, 

Pleasure, and left pains behind. 

The love, TheTrio witnessed,

The passion and the bliss,

The compassion, the care, the empathy,

I so so so so much miss.

In those arms and in those drives,

In those moments and in in those meals,

In those talks and in those winters,

I had lived and loved whole life.

The Consumpt Love!

 

The best person I knew, I lost too soon,

The only one, I loved to the moon!

My critical nature, and the fat devils around,

With circumstances such, misfortunes abound.

The only person I loved, and loved so much,

I lost myself, when I lost her love. 

They snatched us apart, and my heart from me,

Made me angry and then depressed, couldn't you see?

These immense emotions, brought me some fevers,

The intensity of deprivation, still makes me quiver. 

But now, my pact, with myself, to close the crud,

With peace, signed and sealed in blood. 

Now I feel you around, everytime I miss you,

Love changed its form, now my heart pumps blue. 

Physically I can't touch, see, or hear you,

In my mind's eye I remember, feel and sense you. 

Heart Connection doesn't need close proximity, 

For moon and stars so far, have unanimity. 

You feel my love, despite this distance, I'm sure,

For my love is compelling, fierce but very pure. 

Your warmth, in winters, makes me sweat,

Those affectionate days, I'm sure, not over yet! 

Around the corner, I see you, missing me too,

And I've faith, sad days are numbered few.

The closeness I still feel, which puts me in delirium,

And my soul flies high, lighter than helium,

In those moments, of mindful consummation of love,

The Divine smiles and blesses us abundantly from above.

Love so Pure

 It was love, and love, our love so pure,

Our mutual affection, definitely mutual, I assure.

The pheromones and their effects on each other,

The most beautiful, sublime scents like no other.

The warmth of those embraces that endured,

Tests of times and made us together mature.

We fought the world's battles together. 

And together we won the devils, tanned their leather!

Got those blessings directly divine,

And that made us rise and shine. 

Walking along these lonely forests,

With your hands clasped in mine,

The sun shone and life was a fest,

Walking, our feet deepened in sands of time.

When we found the pathways troubling,

And difficult and narrow and numbing,

We stuck together even closer,

Never losing mutual composure.

The sunshine, an eyesore for devils that'd come,

They broke us apart, but why we remained mum?

The clash of lovers, the shatter of divine

When I was yours and you were mine...

Shattered you just like it Shattered me

But ultimately it Shattered us together, THE WE!

The loss was too much for us,

We tried breaking free, but our love had rust.

The days are dark, At nights, I bark.

The shadows, they scare, Your affection, now scarce.

The cold, it stiffens, but you, don't listen. 

I wanted you to know what lies in my heart, for you,

But you couldn't see it, when I opened it, for you,

The feelings are saturated, overwhelmed, for you,

When they'll open it with scalpel, inside they'll find you!

When I see the sun, I see you.

In the cool beauty of the moon, I see you.

From the mountains to the morning dew,

I see you in the heaven's hues. 

From my cherished possessions to celestial bodies afar,

I see you, I hear you, I feel u in the chords of my guitar.

I missed and begged, and yearned and prayed,

And lost myself while it's role destiny played.

Can we reverse these pains, we inflicted on ourselves?

Can we recompense these sufferings, where we now delve?

The most important question to the Gods above,

Will you be able to indemnify the depth of my love?

The price of love, I have been asked to pay,

Needs to be reimbursed in love, before I wither away!!!

Random Thoughts

Some nights, I sleep like a baby. But on most others, the pain is terrible. At times, mundane questions boggle my mind. At others, the starvation of my heart is enough to choke. 

It's in these times, when the moon is full and when the sun elsewhere is eclipsed, my inner demons are hard to control. 

They rise without warning, startling me as they come oh so suddenly, and then they abduct me on a random journey to the maze in the depths deeper than a gargantuan black hole. The point of no return. Or is it?

And then all my prayers are held up. And the tiredness of the soul is held up too. The blessings and friendships, held up along with the presence of my mind. 

It's in these moments when I find these demons overwhelming, more than myself, that I feel I must stop fighting. Not my thoughts but the thoughts of demons. The overcontrolling and powerful demons. 

The body wills yet the soul seeks freedom. Freedom from control. Freedom from manipulation. Freedom from injustice. 

But Freedom isn't free. Perhaps only Dom (domination) is. Perhaps that's why the demons dominate. They choke just upto the very last breath but not beyond, and then they leave just when I'm about to turn blue. Not only leaving me at that, they promise before leaving, to return soon. 

Of all the promises of this heaven, the promises of these demons are most trustworthy. They keep coming back, at times when I least want them to. And yet when my masochism seeks revenge from myself, the demons tease and dance with me, ever so sympathetic that you could mistake them for angels. 

Of all the angels and all the demons, I find the latter better. They bless you with your very best efforts, keeping you on toes and bettering you by battering you.

And of course. Trust factor reigns Supreme.

Angels, where art thou?

When The World Locked-down

Come to think of it, the global pandemic is a boon! Before you start bashing me already, just think about it. When was the last time you had a leisurely stroll at your home in the morning? Or had a heart-to-heart with someone close without the thought that you need to be rushing somewhere? Or committed the sin of dedicating some luxurious me-time? Gone are those days of rushing, aptly known as the "B.C." or "before corona". Yes, the pandemic has brought a boon called "Complete lockdown", specially for the generation that slogs on weekdays and sloths on weekends. It has gifted us time to spend with close family, who had been ignored in the fast paced life we had been leading in "those days". Time to learn "home work" from parents and connect with the kids. The lucky ones locked with spouses around, it's the time to appreciate each other, instead of bickering, and strengthen the relationships. We have again been gifted a chance to enjoy pollution free air (AQI is less than 100 here, in a city where it used to be near 800 at times) and we have been blessed with clear blue skies. Now is the chance to unlearn the past and learn from our mistakes, take corrective action and implement lifestyle changes. Coz these days are here to stay. For a long time. Period. This is a chance to go back to the future with Indianness in everything - light home cooked meals in place of Instagram snacking, yoga instead of gyms and being with family instead of colleagues. The corporate world has realised finally that work-from-home can successfully be implemented in almost all industries and across functions. Unnecessary travel can be, and shall be. avoided, this too shall unfold shortly. Food for thought? I can slog 2 hours more while working-from-home, but would always rush at dot 6:30 PM on as many days as possible, trying to avoid a long drive home in bumper-to-bumper traffic. While we will realise the importance of outings and offices now, this is surely nature's way of pushing some sense back in humanity. Let's see who wins, Nature or Industry! As they say, change is the only constant - but we are yet to find what was the "constant" in this equatio - the pandemic-pushed-leisurely-culture or the rushed-up-life.

Growing Up...

There come some stepping stones in life which are so rare and random and yet so enchanting that you continue to remain enamored by them for quite a long time. Once the lovely mist surrounding you starts thinning, you realize that you have grown up considerably as an individual.

And this growing up is for the better. It’s much sweeter when it’s not growing up only as an individual - yes, you got me right. Getting enchanted by someone, and then growing up with a sweetheart - such a sweet phase. Right from walking together at malls, trying to get over with shyness, trying to suppress the blushes, trying to bump together so that your hands brush against each others' ; to that phase where you stop bothering about someone watching you, when what matters is just the two of you and your togetherness. The togetherness, beyond distances, beyond localities; the understanding of the unspoken word and of the unheard emotion; the depth of love, beyond anything ever felt or heard or otherwise known of - when you begin to understand how foolish you had been till date to pursue other things - so mundane, so useless, such a waste of energy. Guess that's love, the personal emotion of love, as innocent as a new born baby, as pure as the earth washed the whole night in heavy rains on a full moon night, that makes you do stupid things, that makes you go crazy, giving you a recurring grin on your face. The emotion that's so warm, you don't need to wear any woolens during the cool February, when even the Lord above bestows your surroundings with unprecedented rainfall. The emotion of togetherness, of being there for each other, when even hectic days looks so manageable, because you know you are truly blessed by God, that you have a life support system so well in place, there is no possible way you can stay stressed for long. You know hearing her – the voice as well as the shyness surrounding it – it’s simply going to bowl you over as always, you know her best wishes for you forever are going straight to the Lord to bless you even more, and then, as if guided by the angels above, magically she is going to hold your hands in hers, and the world shall stop right there.....

Feel the magic of love if you can, when you can, in any which way you can. That’s the most perfect emotion in the universe, and you can feel it only as a human being, being blessed with the capabilities of the higher order!

 

Blessings Galore

Dear God,
The way you've written the journey of my life, it keeps me astounded. I always wanted to know your thoughts and plans for me, but you always preferred to suprise me.
Each time I've been in doubt, you've given me enough reasons to have strong faith in you.
Each time I thought my belief in you was just an obligation, you've given me more than what I should have been obliged for.
Thank you Lord, for you've been far too kind. Thank you for everything you have blessed me with. Thanks for everything that you have secretly planned for me, to bless me with.
I reiterate that I've complete faith in you!




PS: God does not need to know "From Whom"

Why FDI is good for the Mango-Man

Disclaimer : I do not hold any stakes in any FMCG corporate, neither desi nor videsi. I am not a part of Congress. And, I do not intend to hold stakes in any of these in the near future.

It is the human psychology to resist changes. That is why I, the aam aadmi, the quintessential mango-man, raised such hue and cry on the government (for a change) bringing about reforms, a-la-1991, for opening the country to retail FDI, or more clearly, for allowing Walmart to enter India. One thing I do not understand, why only pinpoint Walmart? Why not Carrefour, for instance? Anyways. Only because I just have to, just need to resist changes, I have to oppose anything that's new.
And that is why I do not want to shop at Walmart. Why? Because I prefer the local bhaiya ki dukaan, kyunki:

1. Only the local bhaiya can take pride in passing expired goods to me, and then sheepishly replacing them with "expire wexpiry toh bas likhne ki baat hai, hota kuch nahi isse".

2. Walmart will NOT serve me Centre Fresh as a substitute for Re. 1, a leaking sachet of shampoo as a substitute of Rs. 3 and Parle-G as a substitute of Rs. 5. (At times the thought of taking 10 packets of Parle-G to the bhaiya and asking him to treat them as 50 bucks has crossed my mind, but it earned me unwanted flak from my mom, so the idea had been dumped everytime!)

3. Walmart will NOT be the local bitching point.

But then, Change is Good, isn't it?  So should I give the firang brands a chance to serve His Highness Myself? Or should I blindly resist?
Lets wait and watch!
 

Turning 25...

So finally, Bond completes 25 years of life on Planet Earth. Isn't everyone oh-so-happy and blessed? No? Then why congratulating me for turning 25? Caught ya! Well congrats to you too, for jheloing me for 25 years here!

This time the birthday was kinda different... There were so many firsts.. I showed whom I love the most - more than each and every dear friend - which will come a li'l later, I got a li'l worried about getting old, hell, I FELT getting older... and then, an unwanted first - first birthday without my Grandfather's wishes - I know the wishes are flowing from Above now, but...

The 25th year of my life begin with a blast indeed. I set my cell on silent mode at around 11pm the previous night and went to a restless yet strangely excited sleep for an hour. Generally I wake up all by myself at 11.45pm or so, murmur prayers, thank God for everything and by the time its midnight, start getting calls. But not this time. I woke up with a start at around 4am, and realized I had crossed all limits, and slept through the historical event - of my reaching the silver jubilee, of completing brahmcharya ashram and entering grahasth! Saw a lot many missed calls (so all those who tried calling more than once that night finally realised my love for my sleep - albeit the harder way), an equal no. of emails (I use a blackberry) and messages. Felt bad about missing the midnight moment, sleeping through the stroke of the midnight hour, while the world was awake and calling (particularly two special friends - one desi and one videsi). Anyways. Got up, said prayers, replied to most messages and went back to sleep. Awoke, visibly happy yet feeling strangely odd and old and mature - 25 now seemed a magical barrier which I had crossed!

Going to office for giving my darshan to the team, wearing new clothes (again a white shirt) and cutting the cake, getting it smeared on my face, attending calls and emails all day, catching up with friends and relatives and returning home to a quite and lavish family dinner at evening are all a strangely fresh yet blurred memory... What has started worrying me is that I have crossed a magical number. I, the one very cautious with numbers professionally, just wish that as far as ages are concerned, the numbers should stop at 24! God, can you grant me this priviledge?

The Gift of Life...

There come some moments in life when your only desire in life is that life - and for that matter, everything - stops and freezes at that one moment... at that emotion... at that one single second where you feel that you have figured out everthing in the cosmos, and yet you understand that you do not know anything... and that one nanosecond has everything you have cherished and desired, and yet nothing is within your reach... its that moment we live for, that moment we struggle for, that moment we strive for, that moment we ache for, we lust for, we pray for, we earn for, we make choices for... and those moments make up LIFE!